


Live for her

by chickxfisher



Series: Learning to love again [2]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: 18+, Abigail is lesbian, Adoption, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Arthur has anxiety, Blood, Blowjobs, Cannibalism, Cannibalism Implications, Canon Divergence, Character Death, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Children exposed to murder, Colm O'driscoll is a sick motherfucker. and im going to have fun writing him, Daddy Arthur Morgan, Death, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sex, Gore, Graphic Description of Corpses, Happy Pride, Harm to Children, Heavy Drinking, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, John Marston Has an Existential Crisis, Kidnapping, Lesbian Character, Lesbians, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Trust, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Multi, Murder, NSFW, Non-Canon Relationship, Oprhan, POV Arthur Morgan, POV John Marston, Panic Attacks, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Suicide, Threat towards children, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Threesome - M/M/M, Threesomes, Top Arthur, mlm, not sorry <3, rape mention, sorry homophobes, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-05-18 21:47:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19343305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chickxfisher/pseuds/chickxfisher
Summary: Hey everyone! If the tags didnt scare you away then congrats! Now i put those tags in for a reason, which means this chapter, and the ones after it, are going to contain some major heavy stuff that could easily trigger or upset one. Remember to take care of yourself and please do not force your self to read if you are feeling uncomfortable. If you are not okay with the mention of children being in harm, rape or abuse, in general, I suggest not reading this and checking out another fic. I write to please others and my self and the last thing i want is someone to be hurt or uncomfortable while reading the stuff i put my whole energy into. Now that warning is out of the way, please enjoy! If you want more imfortmation about the writer go to this websitehttps://chickxfisher.carrd.co/





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! If the tags didnt scare you away then congrats! Now i put those tags in for a reason, which means this chapter, and the ones after it, are going to contain some major heavy stuff that could easily trigger or upset one. Remember to take care of yourself and please do not force your self to read if you are feeling uncomfortable. If you are not okay with the mention of children being in harm, rape or abuse, in general, I suggest not reading this and checking out another fic. I write to please others and my self and the last thing i want is someone to be hurt or uncomfortable while reading the stuff i put my whole energy into. Now that warning is out of the way, please enjoy! If you want more imfortmation about the writer go to this website  
> https://chickxfisher.carrd.co/

Arthur sat in the closet, the dark room lit up with the strike of his match he carefully ignited the end of his cigarette he felt the shift of another against his arm. Looking down to meet Johns' tired eyes as they shared a soft smile, hearing the camp outside go silent they held each other. Carefully embracing each other's warm touch, they kissed lightly as John stole the cigarette from Arthurs' fingers as the noises of the night and the distant horses turned into clatter and breaking of glass. 

 

"Crap- Think it's the Pinkertons?" John quickly got up, fumbling with his pants as Arthur slid his shirt on properly. 

 

"No, but I ain't taking the chance." He scowled, opening the door he moved past John to the front of the mansion to see a slow pack forming of gang members who had woken from their slumber. 

 

"Dutch! Dutch- They- O'Driscolls!" Lenny called out, running over as sweat dripped from him, "They took Kieran!" He panted, barely standing. 

 

"THEY TOOK JACK!" Abigail cried out, running from the mansion out to John, "Colm has done it now. If he dares touches a HAIR on that boy's head-" 

 

Fear grew in Arthurs' heart as it dropped, speeding his way into the house again he climbed the stairs, barging into his off side room. 

 

"MAR-" He yelled, stopping to see that the one bed his daughter laid upon was now empty with blood trickling out of the window. 

 

Without a seconds moment, he charged his way downstairs back out to the group.

 

"Colm has done it now. If he dares touches a HAIR on that boy's head-" Dutch cursed, pacing as he swore to himself.

 

"Charles-" Dutch pointed to the man before he was cut off by Arthur. 

 

"Marston with me." He growled, fire burning deep in his eyes. "Abigail, I promise we'll get Jack back." 

 

John looked to her as she cried, tears in her eyes as he mounted Old boy. "Arthur what are you doing?!" 

 

"I've seen what those O'driscolls do it ain't pretty Dutch!" Arthur yelled back, his face spotted with fear and worry. 

 

With a quick cloud of dust, they were both gone from the camp as Arthur led. Hitting the ground hard with each hoove as they rode quickly, following the trail best they could. 

 

"Why would they take Maria!?" John asked, barely keeping up with Arthurs horse.

 

"I don't know." Arthurs' voice was wobbly, his hands gripping the reins as he slowed his horse down. 

 

"Shit- I lost track." He got down from his horse, looking around frantically. Pacing slightly he got mounted up again, 

 

"The path ends here-" He pointed to the train tracks before quickly shutting his mouth, his hand still. 

 

Arthurs' heart was racing, goosebumps across his skin as he inhaled deeply. John could sense the worry in him as he felt it just as much, slowly walking his horse to be alongside Arthurs.

 

His hand hovering over his shoulder he placed it carefully, as to not spook him. 

 

"Keep looking. Don't stop looking." He grunted, looking to Arthur he searched for reassurance as they picked up the speed once again, calling out the names of their children. Hours passed, and for what felt like days they searched. Picking up bits and pieces of the trail as the once morning turned to misty night.

 

Rubbing his arm lightly as he held the lantern out, "Maybe we should have gotten Charles or Javier to join us-"

 

"No I- I need to do this." Arthur argued.

 

"I understand." John nodded, shuddering as a loud piercing scream cut through the forest.

 

"Maria!" They both shouted, not bothering to whistle over their horses they sprinted towards the cry. 

 

Barging down the door to the lone cabin the noise emitted from, Arthur drew his weapon, ready to fire at anyone who dared stand in his way. 

 

"Maria!" He called out, tossing chairs and tables out of his way. 

 

"Jack! Jack can you hear me?!" John yelled before screaming of his own as he tripped over the corner of a rug. 

 

Kicking it upwards he grabbed the handle to the small wooden door below it. 

 

"Morgan-" He grunted, lifting best he could as Arthur helped him, tugging the heavy doors open they jumped down into the small basement only to be greeted with mangled corpses strung from the roof. A sharp breath of panic is all it took before Arthur realised it wasn't Jack nor Maria. 

 

"Arthur-" Kieran cried, barely lifting his head as he was strung upside down as to be ripped from his skin like the other graphic displays.

 

Quickly brandishing his knife he cut the ropes tying Kieran's ankles to the roof, letting him slide to the ground. "Did you see where they took-" 

 

The loud bang of doors shutting cut John off, creaking of floorboards as they slid against the wall, guns holstered, they waited for a signal. The small doors slowly opened to reveal Colm, standing with three men behind him, guns pointed to Arthur and John. 

 

"Glad to see you again, Morgan." Colm said thickly, "You see, we ain't too happy with you escapin' and all." 

 

He grinned, the malicious intent behind his eyes spoke the tales of innocents he had harmed. With a quick movement, he picked up something, holding it above the hole for them to see he had a grip of Maria and Jack. Bound together with ropes he carried them like a log. Arthurs hands were ready to grab his revolver as a fire hotter than the depths of hades burned within him, stone cold eyes staring up to Colm. Arthur wanted to say something, he wanted to curse Colm to the depths where he belonged and that feeling was mutual with John, no doubt, but even with their fiery rage they had to think rationally and decided to keep their mouths shut.

 

"Colm! Let them g- go! It's me you want!" Kieran pleaded, waddling forwards in front of John and Arthur. 

 

"Damn right it is! And not only that, we now have Dutch's two prized sons in our grasp. How about we celebrate with a little fun?" Colm laughed, grabbing the rifle off the two men behind him and tossing Maria and Jack to the goon on his left he slammed the butt end into Kieran's head, knocking him clear out. 

 

Crouching down and looking Arthur and John in the eyes, wetting his lips as he carefully slid his knife out of its holster.

 

"Its good to have you staying boys, I promise it'll be fun." He purred, chuckling as he stood back up, slamming the doors shut, leaving them in darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Shuffling in the dark, John searched for the comfort of Arthur, standing close to him he felt their shoulders touch. Laying against the wall he shifted as close as he could. What are we going to do?" Arthur mumbled to himself, hunched over as John laid his head on his shoulder. Shuffling through his satchel he pulled out a lone matchstick and struck it across his heel. Lighting up the room he saw Kieran sitting across from them, barely dressed and covered in scratches.

"You alright?" He asked, leaning forwards slightly. "I- I guess..." Kieran whined, he was used to this, whether it was from Bill or Colm himself the scratches would only fade until they didn't. Gently moving over to the smaller man he crossed his legs, licking his thumb and wiping the blood and dirt out of his wounds. Kieran whined lightly into the touch, even if it was a short one he wanted more. 

"Hey! Shut your fuckin' mouth!" Colm yelled, stomping his foot against the wooden doors sealing the three men in. Without thinking Arthur quickly went back to his spot next to John as Kieran sat there, barely covering himself as he cowered in fear. 

"If I come down there one of ya is loosin' a finger!" Colm swore, throwing something and letting it shatter against the doors as the remains leaked through the cracks. Arthur could feel Kieran trembling from here as the match went out, leaving them in the dark again. "C- Can I join you, fellas?" Kieran asked, a soft whimper in his voice.

Arthur looked to John as he waited for an answer, "Course." Arthur held his hand out to Kieran, guiding him through the dark room into the warmth between him and John, letting him take secure rest in each other's arms. Resting his head on Kierans Arthur held Johns hand, feeling the cold space between the two evaporate as Kieran smiled, leaning into Arthurs burly body as they fell asleep.

Hearing footsteps from above and what sounded like another person, a much heavier one at that, the three men sprung awake with the sound of the trap doors opening and a large wad of barely cooked meat was thrown down to them as the doors shut almost as quickly as they did open. Staring down at the poorly cook chunk of meat their stomachs rumbled, "Should we eat it?" Kieran asked sheepily, a little desperation in his voice.  
"I th- HEY!" Arthur yelled, looking to his side to find that his weapon belt had been taken as well his satchel. "Wh-" John looked up to Arthur, checking his sides as well he had also been robbed of his belongings. "Aw, 'm sorry. Did I take yer little guns?" Colm chirped, stepping down the walkway from above he spun John's cattleman revolver in his fingers. With a moments notice, John moved towards Colm, diving for his feet before the barrel of the gun hit his head, "Now... I wouldn't do that if I were you. Dutch was right! You are a stupid shit ain't ya!" He laughed loudly, kicking John clean side of his jaw.

Looking down to the wad of meat, which was now covered in dirt, he sighed. "You didn't like my gift?" He whimpered, grinning maliciously as he brandished the knife with his free hand. "You'll like this one though.." He purred, pointing to Kieran. 

"Its a gift! partin' one actually.. in that it'll part you. A part of you there, a part of you here.." he waved his hand aimlessly about. Arthur backed up to the wall, holding John up as he watched the feral dog moved closer and closer to Kieran, cornering him in. "and a part of you waaayyy over there. Stainin' the wall."

Holding the knife to Kieran's neck he carefully pressed the cold blade against his jawline. "Don't make me cut you, boy." He growled before quickly putting the knife back. 

"Colm! We got a problem!" An O'Driscoll called out, "If any of you ever dare to escape.. you'll be buryin' ya kids." He threatened, walking back up out of the room he shut the doors behind him. With a heavy sighed Kieran dropped to the floor, tears streaming down his face as Arthur walked over, holding his hand out to him.  
Hesitantly taking it he stood up, grunting as he breathed hard. "If he touches Jack, I'll kill the bastard my self." John groaned, rubbing his jaw from where Colm had kicked him. Sitting back down, Arthur sighed, hungry and very tired he felt his body tense up.

"Let's go." John directed, carefully sneaking to the trap door he looked through the cracks, "No ones up there." He whispered, carefully lifting the door open with all his strength as Arthur got back up, brushing the dust off his pants. As the rain hammered outside of the small cabin they snuck up out of the small underground room. "Maria" Arthur called out, hushing his voice best he could. Which soft squeaking and cries from the cabinet, John opened it to find Jack and Maria sitting inside of it. Squished together by ropes they laid there, covered in bruises and mud.

untying them both as John's eyes welled up with tears, "oh- Jack Listen it's going to be okay-" He soothed his son, cradling him as Arthur ran over, taking Maria into his arms as he crouched down, holding her so tightly he worried about breaking her. "Maria Im sorry" Arthur sobbed, holding her close before picking her up and carrying her. "We need to get out of here, now. Kieran- look for our weapons" Arthur ordered, feeling his daughter sob into his shoulder as Kieran ran past, pull out drawers and opening cupboards as the rain outside got heavier.

"F- Found them!" Kieran shouted, holding up the two weapon belts he gave them to John and Arthur respectively as he pulled out big heavy shotgun coat, about to slip it on he stopped, seeing Maria shiver in her ripped clothes, Kieran smiled, handing it over to Arthur they gave each other a small nod as he covered Maria in the coat.

John held Jack close, soothing him best he could. "We're gettin' outta here, don't worry." He reassured Jack, following Kieran and Arthur outside into the rain only to be stopped by Colm. "Where you goin' in such a hurry?" Colm laughed, pointing his gun towards the three he paced lightly. "You know, I was hopin' I could get you to join us, Morgan." He smiled before a loud bang rang past Colm, a bullet flying through the side of his neck he collapsed to the ground.  
Gurgling blood and spit as his body convulsed. Shieling the kids Arthur and John looked to Kieran who had fired the bullet. Walking over to the body he looked down at Colm, his body twitching as harsh and sharp breathes drew, with a swift kick to the head, the twitching stopped. Rain dancing on his dead body they could feel the universe be once calm again now that Colm O'driscoll was out of the picture. And without a moments notice, the five of them were off back to camp.

As cheers and bottles were lifted into the sky, they all celebrated not only the death of Colm but the return of Jack, Kieran and Maria. Singing and dancing around the fire as Javier sung in his sweet voice, John and Arthur sat side by side near the fire with Kieran sheepishly nearby, dressed in new clothes he finally felt at home with the Van Der Linde gang, no longer seen as an O'driscoll, but a brother. Abigail didn't stay at the party as he sat up in her room with Jack within her arms, almost crying at the news John had told her but from the safe return of her son.

Dutch was happy, so was Hosea.

Dutch danced around the fire with his lover, hand in hand they sang, they were off-key and small slips of laughs broke through the singing, but they were in love, and they were happy. Something burned within Arthur and the feeling was too familiar for his liking, he wanted to dance and be happy with John, he wanted to express the love and bond they had but it felt like every weight of the world was keeping his feet glued to the ground.

Maria sat beside him, her hair washed and braided by Sadie, her clothes made and patched up by Mary-beth, and her smile was so genuine and happy. Arthur could remember the first time he laid eyes on her, this frail, barely clothed, starving young girl. In a way, it reminded him of when he was young.

Seeing her smile and hearing her laugh, it made him wish this moment could last forever. Just him, John and Maria. More of a family than anyone else. John's face was red with alcohol and joy as he sang, the crookedness of his voice standing out as he drunkenly waved a bottle of whiskey in the air. 

"I love you, dad." Maria smiled, looking up to Arthur with a kind smile. Before Arthur could say anything John leaned over, clumsily and very drunkenly, he kissed Arthur. Taken back by the sudden movement Arthur's eyes widened before they fell into the kiss, feeling the whiskey soften it John pulled away to take another sip of his drink.

Mid swallow he stopped, looking at the few people to have noticed the kiss. Feeling his body freeze as Arthur's mouth opened, looking for the words to explain Hosea and Dutch laughed lightly as Arthur shielded his red face, looking away to see Maria also giggling. 

"I knew it. You owe me twelve dollars." Karen laughed, holding her hand out to Mary-beth who laughed as well, reluctantly handing her the money.

Awkwardly looking at each other quickly, John and Arthur smiled, their faces red and their hearts full, they knew there was no point in keeping it a secret no longer.


	3. Chapter 3

The sweet drunken kiss he had shared with John ultimately had sealed their destiny. Hand in hand they shared that tender moment that felt more real than any other they had shared, than any other embrace they held. It was the confidence of doing it in front of other people that sold that kiss for him.

The fire crackling with delight and the soft cheers of the remaining around the campfire soon stopped as Dutch and Hosea sat across from them. 

"Does Abigail know?" Hosea asked, holding Dutch's hand lightly as worry grew on his face. "Course not- we were planin' on keeping it a secret." Arthur spoke sadly, "Till when? She finds out the hard way?" He scolded, leaning forwards. 

John looked down, "I-" He spoke, wetting his lips gently before getting up. "I'll go tell her. It's my fault things are like this" He shrugged, brushing the dirt off him he left without a word as Arthur hesitantly reached out for him. 

Turning back to Hosea and Dutch he felt his shoulders fall and his head hang. "We know you're scared son," Dutch said softly, speaking in a hushed voice as placed his hand on Arthurs' shoulder, giving him a firm pat before walking to his tent, leaving Arthur and Hosea alone at the fire. 

Carefully tiptoeing up the stairs of the mansion as they creaked beneath his boot he made his way to his and Abigail's room, the giant decaying hole in the wall was hard to miss but it allowed to see that Abigail wasn't alone. Peeking through the hole he quietly gasped, covering his mouth he saw Sadie on the bed with Abigail, interlocking their arms as they kissed into the bed. 

Turning his head away from it his face went red, a little embarrassed to see such an intimate thing but also general privacy invasion. Quickly, but as carefully as he could he made his way out of the mansion back down to where Arthur was to find him now alone at the campfire, bottle in hand. "Arthur-" He called out, hushing his voice as he ran over, almost tripping himself. 

"I- I just saw Sadie _with_ Abigail"

Arthur looked up from his drink, "Like, _with_ as in-" He paused, "Oh." He chuckled, face turning red as well as they both laughed lightly. "I guess that makes things a lil' easier now don't it!" He chuckled, wrapping his arm around John as he sat down on the log with Arthur who handed him the whiskey bottle. John smiled and appreciatively took the bottle from him and took a long sip. 

Looking into Johns' eyes Arthur smiled, the crooked wrinkles of his lips and the dimple on his right cheek made his face turn red as he closed his eye, leaning in for a kiss as he snatched the bottle away from John who also leaned into the kiss with no hesitation. The glass bottle slipping out of Arthurs' hands as it fell to the ground, Johns arms resting on Arthurs' shoulders as the kiss deepened. Barely breaking the kiss they looked into each other's eyes, the small distance between their lips allowed them both to breathe thickly and harsh.

Moving John onto his lap, Arthur kissed him once again. "You have some pretty eyes, Marston." He chirped, gently kissing and licking his jawline. Feeling the shivers go down Johns body he moaned lightly, leaning into Arthurs soft touch. "I love you, ain't that so?" John smiled, resting his forehead against Arthurs as his hands laid in his. "Ain't it so." They both smiled sweetly, sharing one last kiss before falling asleep in each other's arms, letting the warmth of the fire cradled them to sleep.

Letting the early morning dew settle on their skin as he laid there, Arthur slowly opened his eyes to light shining in them. Sitting upwards he realised he had been moved to his bed in the old house. Carefully laying backwards the rain fell hard outside, thunder crashing and rain hitting the window he closed his eyes. Feeling slight movements next to him he looked down to see Maria in the crook of his arm, nuzzling into it she donned his buckskin Jacket. 

Carefully lifting his hand he placed it on her head, stroking her hair he smiled, feeling her press into his side as the rain hammered down heavier by the second. Judging by the weather everyone had gone inside, and the rambunctious noise downstairs proved that as it somehow was noisier than the rain. Carefully lifting up again he looked down at Maria, gently moving her to the side as he got out of bed. Peeling himself away from the bed he made his way out of the room quietly.

Walking down the stairs into the crowd of people sheltering from the storm outside he yawned lightly before Kieran ran into him, interrupting his pace. 

"O- Arthur! I was just lookin' for you.." Kieran smiled sheepishly, "I have a few questions about.. well. C-Can we talk about this elsewhere?" He looked around, anxiety running through his body like crazy. Lightly rolling his eyes with a chuckle, Arthur obliged and walked back upstairs to talk to Kieran. 

Stepping to the side of the stairs, Kieran stood not too far from Arthur. His meek little body trembling as his hands fidgeted, "So.. You and john- You guys a-are like, a thing, right?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck. Arthur's face glowed a soft red, laughing lightly, "I suppose, why?"

"I have a few questions.. if you don't m- mind answerin' them of course!" He grinned, trying his best to be confident despite his heart racing. "I guess I can. I ain't know more than you do probably but.. if it means i can help." Arthur shrugged, crossing his arms as he leaned against the stair railing. 

"First- I-" He gulped, scratching his arm. "How did you know?"

Arthur paused, wetting his lips lightly as he smirked. "I've always known, but never... _Known_. Its that feeling you get when your heart is racin' and you feel like the whole world finally makes sense." Saying that almost hurt him to the core, too many memories of him repeating that exact sentence about Mary made him wince lightly. "Even if it's only for a lil' while, you just, _know._ " He scratched his chin, looking back up to Kieran who was now more red in the face than when they began the conversation.

"You alright boy?" He spoke thickly, "You look sick." 

Kieran jumped, his body tensing up as he fumbled for words. "N-No Mister! I ain't sick just- a lil' hot!" He laughed nervously, "W-Well... Thank you, Arthur- D-Do you mind if I come back and ask later?" He asked, trembling heavily.

With a small nod of approval, Kieran beamed with joy, walking back down the stairs with a small "thank you" he left Arthur alone.

Leaning on the railing he looked down at this feet, hands fumbling as he cupped them at his waist. The rain hammering down on the roof as droplets seeped through the old wood, feeling himself sniffle lightly he rubbed the corner of his eye with his palm as a tear trickled down onto his wrist. Sniffling once more he leaned his head back, letting single tears run down his cheek he coughed lightly. 

Feeling a slight tug on his shirt he looked down to see Maria. Draped in his jacket she was shivering, tears in her eyes as her teeth chattered. "D-Dad" He cried, "I- I kep-" She murmured, barely getting words out she cried. Arthur breathed heavy, letting his own tears sink away as he bent down to pick her up, holding her close he got on his knees to be at her height.

Gently brushing her hair out of her eyes and wiping the tears with his thumb, "It's- It's okay." He tried his best to comfort her, letting her sob into him he cradled her lightly. Everything about Maria reminding him of Isacc and his heart hurt and stung as he swallowed the fiery feeling in his throat.  The way her tiny hands gripped into his blue shirt, her soft hair messily braided, the choking and sobs coming from her. Hearing it almost made Arthur cry himself, to have a child once more was an opportunity he never thought he'd get again, and he wasn't going to let it slip out of his fingers again.

Picking her up, he gently hugged her, bouncing her in his arms as he paced back and forth to his room again he pit her on the small cot, getting on his knee at her edge of the bed he held her hands. "Hey- You wanna go to Saint denis with me and John?" Arthur asked, smiling best he could. Through her tears, Maria nodding, smiling herself. "Okay.." She whispered, giggling when Arthur placed a small kiss on her forehead. 

Quickly getting up again he told her to stay here, walking out of the room and down to the living area he searched for John through the small group of people, calling out for his name he stumbled into exactly who he was looking for.

John was sitting on a small couch as Abigail swore, pacing the room as Sadie stood not too far from her. "I can't believe you, John Marston! You couldn't bother telling me ANY of this!?" She yelled, throwing her hands up before stopping and noticing Arthur standing there at the doorway. Her eyes were filled with hurt and her face was tight with pain.

"You could have told me about you and Sadie! At least!" John replied back, a little exhaustion in his voice. "Well, now I am! I-" She paused, her hands turning into fists at her sides. "I love her, and you can love Arthur. Do what you want" She spoke sharply, leaving the room quickly.

Sadie stood there, her eyes covered with her hat she looked up to the two men and gave them a quick nod before walking away, leaving Abigail to calm down. Carefully walking over to John, he put his hands on his belt. "You alright?" Arthur asked quietly, placing his hand on Johns' shoulder as he stood up. "Y- Yeah. m' fine."

"Maria and I are gonna go into Saint denis, see what all the commotion is about this place. You wanna come?"

"Yeah-" John replied quickly, nodding. Arthur quickly went back upstairs, grabbing Maria he carried her out of the mansion with John walking alongside him. Lightly placing her on the front of his Horses saddle he climbed up afterwards, placing his hands on her as Arthur turned to look at John.

"You got everything?"

"I got everything i need right here." He smirked, following Arthur on his horse they rode the distance to Saint denis.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for my absence, im trying my best to stay on track and write but ive been playing more rdr2 than i actually am writing it.

 

###  Chapter Text

Carefully trotting along the dirt path, Arthur held Maria in his hands, letting her hold the reins of his horse. "Now, if ya wanna make 'er go faster- you give those reins a tug with a 'yah' !" He smiled, glancing over to John who rode not too far from him. Maria beamed, gripping the reins she tugged on them slightly, "Ya!" She beckoned the horse go faster.

With a quick move, Artur grabbed his hat from falling off as the horse came to a stubborn halt. "Woah- easy there, girl" Arthur smiled, reaching forwards he pet the side of his horse's neck as she neighed in disinterest. "I don't think she likes me.." Maria whined, trying to pet the horse but being rejected. "I think its just Arthur" John laughed, poking fun as his horse slowly continued its path.

"Yeah! Daddy stinks!" Maria giggled as Arthur went red in the face lightly. "At least I ain't afraid of water- And speaking of which, don't go throwin' yourself into the water now cause I ain't fishing you out, again."

John rolled his eyes, face going red as he turned his head away as they crossed over the bridge. Holding Maria close, Arthur smiled brightly. 

"What did daddy do?" Maria looked up at Arthur, grinning.

"John?" His face turned a deeper shade of red.  "Huh- Well when we was young, this fool over here-" He pointed to John lazily as he laughed. "threw himself into a river, I had to fish 'im out!" 

"If I remember correctly, you threw me in!"

"And I'll throw you in again if I have ta!"

Maria smiled, placing her hands on Arthurs as he held the reins, leaning into his chest she closed her eyes, letting the soft trot of the horse cradle her. As Arthur stared lovingly towards John, he felt Maria lean into his chest, tilting her head she looked up to Arthur, grinning widely as she giggled, "Is there.. Anythin' you want to do?" He asked, smiling back to her.

"I wanna be like you daddy!" Maria cheered, smiling so bright. Arthur's heart ached after she said that, a pained smile spread across his face. "Can you teach me to shoot?" She asked, so cheerful you'd almost forget she had such a sad life behind the glint in her eyes. Looking upwards,  Arthur gulped as he stared across the horizon of swamp which was soon swallowed by buildings and smoke.

Praying she meant something else, Arthur smiled sheepishly, "M- Maybe we can go huntin'."

Maria deserved better than Arthur for a father. She deserved better than to be in the cesspit that is the Van der linde gang to call family, a bunch of degenerate outlaws as her family and even bigger degenerate, at least by his perspective, as a father. He didn't want to think about giving his daughter a gun, let alone a situation where she would even need one.

"I suppose it isn't too bad, people have it worse." was etched into his brain no matter what, yes people had it worse and Arthur had no right to complain. The things he has done to other people had didn't gone unspoken but the things he wishes he could do to himself were untold, and he planned to keep it that way.

Hands trembling in the reins, Johns cracked voice broke his silence. "You could ask Hosea to join ya, he always knows the best spots."

Arthur smiled lightly, "You sound jealous that I ain't askin' you to come with us."

John scoffed, rolling his eyes as he turned his head to save embarrassment. "Not like I wanna go with ye anyways. You'd probably just bicker about how I can't aim."

"Cause you can't, Marston!" He laughed, enjoying the small chuckle he got back in reply, they rode up to hitching posts next to the saloon. Dismounting, Arthur held Maria in his arms as he placed her onto the ground.

"Where to first?"

"How about a bite to eat, Maria you hungry?" John asked, giving her a smile as he beckoned her towards the saloon. "Marston I Ain't go-", "It's okay, it's on me." John patted Arthur back as Maria ran into the saloon without thinking.

Quickly running after her Arthur bushed into the place, picking her up. "Hey Sweetheart, wait for daddy." He smiled, handing her to John as he pointed to the table near the window. "You sit there okay? Im gonna go get us some food."

Walking over to the bar he leaned on it, looking the bartender in the eyes. "Yeah-  Could we get a few drinks and some food?" Arthur looked down at the menu, "Whiskey and uhh... Lobster." Arthur sheepishly asked. He had never tried it or even been here before. As the chatter from the nearby poker table and people gawking at Arthur, he shifted uncomfortably. This wasn't his scene, Valentine, Rhodes, hell maybe even van horn would have been more preferable. But if he wasn't doing it for himself he would have already been drunk by now.

"My, I ain't seen you around here before mister, you sure are out if your habitat ain't ya!" The bartender joked as he poured some drinks. Arthur chuckled, a little unsure about the conversation. "She ain't- uh, gonna be any trouble?" The bartender pointed to Maria who was sitting on a chair next to John. "Course, she'll be fine." Arthur nodded, taking the drinks and food to the table.

"Here we are." He set down the food in front of Maria, letting her dig in almost the second it was placed. Sitting down across from each other John and Arthur ate their food.

The silence between the three grew over Maria stuffing her face full of food, if Arthur or John knew better they would have scolded her for bad table manners, but they didn't know better. Looking down at his food with the occasional flicker back up to meet eyes, they smiled. Sheepishly picking up his drink he lifted it for a toast, "To us for not killin' eachother yet."

John picked his beer up as well, holding it up to Arthurs as they shared a toast. "It ain't too late now to try," John replied, taking a heavy drink from the bottle. 

Arthur chuckled loudly, also taking a sip as he laughed into the bottle.

As the night passed away, the singing got louder and hands were closer, drinks were shared and food was eaten. Maria rode on Arthurs' shoulders as he drunkenly stumbled along with John by his side, arm intertwined they strolled through the cold wet roads of Saint denis. Stopping at an alleyway near the church Maria slipped down from his shoulders. "Can I explore?" She asked, "Sure" He slurred, laughing as Maria ran off down the alleyway, not too far that Arthur could still see her she crouched down near some old boxes and dug through them.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you-" John burped, thumping chest. "This happy" He smiled, pressing his shoulder against Arthurs as they leaned on the wall. John was right, Arthur hadn't felt this happy in a while, even if it was sparingly sometimes, he was happy, he was happy with John. He loved John so much that nor words or written could ever describe it. "Yeah, I wonder why that is." Arthur tilted his head to John, giving him puppy eyes it was a quick trigger for them to pull in close together.

Hands intertwined they kissed, Arthurs hand on Johns' cheek as they kissed tenderly and oh so sweetly. Arthur had such beautiful eyes and John could see so much ocean and sky in them that it only complimented with Johns brown eyes that Arthur could see forests and mountains in that matched so well, together they were truly the earth and the world to each other. No rain no shine no word or action could ever destroy what they had and what they share, and they knew this.

Gone so far already you become lost they were each other's purpose to find new horizons they could rest on but only together they knew it would be whole. The water making foundation that is the land, so trees could grow and so we could see the sky.

They had found purpose, they had found a home so far away from family that they're all they ever needed.

Holding each other in the kiss before breaking it. Arthurs hands running down Johns' arms to his hands as he held them. "I love you." He whispered, smiling drunkenly. John didn't even need to reply, Arthur knew how loud his heart sang.

"Hey! G-Get off me! D-" Maria yelled, screeching as Arthur quickly snapped to her direction.

A pale sickly bald man was holding Maria to his face, without even thinking Arthur drew his gun but it was not fast enough. Maria had brandished a knife and plunged it deep into the man's neck, him falling as Arthur quickly ran over to her. "H- Where did you-" He stammered, "Fr-" She paused, getting up as she shivered. "dinner..." She whined, a little spooked her eyes were wide. Picking her up, Arthur loomed over the man's body, observing his frail body he scoffed. 

"How- How about we get a room, I-" Arthur paused, letting the alcohol rise to his head. "neither of us are.. prepped to go anywhere.." He coughed, trying not to burp, or worse, throw up.

Walking back over to the saloon they rented rooms and baths. After a good wash, they all went to bed, holding each other in their arms in the big bed.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> antsizedego (@rabiesdealer) is my beta editor atm so please give him lots of love for doing what i cant


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